so to speak

by mim stoner

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Gestation period twelve months, So to Speak was born C-section to a cross legged girl and her upended brain. It clawed at the corners and raked at the pane until finally, escaping through a chink under the door, it was unleashed into the night. The girl, sick in her slumber, dreamt rivers of poke, bloody botanicals, rejection, and woke alarmed but little relieved.


released February 22, 2013

saxophone on "shenandoah" performed by matthew stoner
cello on "bowed instrument" performed by jonathan wiest
violin on "seamstress and the sew" performed by rachel leigh
armies of amys on "so to speak" performed by amy jonason
additional guitar, piano, banjo, percussion, and jesus added by peter j hochstedler
all songs: written and performed by mim stoner
recorded and produced by peter j hochstedler



all rights reserved


mim stoner South Bend, Indiana

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Track Name: hedgeaway
we're just like the rest of the anglo-saxons
just some mainstream teens hedgeaway from liquefaction
hand your culture 'cross the counter in a smooth transaction
with your one black friend scream affirmative action

but we're holdin' on-oh we're holdin' on
we're standing in our skins- these skins we're standing in
and we're building our berlin- depression at our shins
but we're holding on to babylon

we're as wrong as we have been
sins to confession
and they ride our conscience
like a writer rides a pen
but we'll be right again

and we're dressed like the dream of julius caesar
wreath of thorny leaves dig the skin of my t-shirt
and a pile of books burnt in a pile by a teacher
burning bleeding hooks and spine I found the bramble
where's a tweezer?

but we're holding on oh- we're holding on
I see jesus christ oh!
on the jumbotron
and god works nights down at the pentagon
we're holding on

and we're seeking for our hides
and hiding from our eyes
and the tables by our beds they
shed the tears we cry
and the ventilator blades
have made the shit to fly
it floats by on parade as we ride our horses by
ride our horses high

and we're just like the mothers of the babies who've been murdered
an army full of packers, stealers, and deserters
from the windows of our homes
we'll shout with a fervor
this is white flight and the birds are the deservers

but we're holding on
oh we're holding on!
and it won't be long- oh babylon
and the rubicon- oh you're running strong
come and gone all the friendly furlongs
Track Name: shenandoah
mouth of the civil war, gaping and bloody
I'm trudging along the length of its body
all I've got is a canteen dripping with black ink
I've tatted it's tongue with the shape of my black drink

it's dandy--shenandoah, river valley
dandy--shenandoah, river valley

scar of a masquerade
marred with a muddy blade and cauterized with a flame
thought it was over now, worked its way out somehow
flesh still taut but our ignorance remains

ain't it handy?
shenandoah, river valley

and han, you are a pawn
your legacy will go on
but han, eat all you want you're fine
cause han this body's been on the front-line
yeah han, eat all you want of mine
cause yes, I was guilty too one time

there's a cradle where it all started-
fuzz-headed, softhearted
seed of a dark thing, feed on my dark drink
stonewall, he parted bones
well he disregarded
han there-sockets-rockets-red-glare

ain't it easy?
shenandoah, river valley
shenandoah, share us some peace
Track Name: seamstress and the sew
head on a pin I was stuck a thousand times
then in my misery
now in my rhymes

hand in a hole where I used to call my brain
oh get out lovely
your death is my refrain

but now I'm older too
and I can see you
but I have older grew
and child I feel you

tongue in a vice christ stamped out with a gun
now I am older, am I having anymore fun?
cause I have seen and I have dreamed
and I have drowned in a seam
pinned down in a pleat

but as for a rescue I deny you now
sever my sadness and you're taking me as well
cause I love the seam
and I love the sew
but hopefully I will grow
and you will too I should hope

child I feel you
it's sewn in your skin too
we do the best we do
Track Name: bottle it
oh little beach cabin
flagged down to the beach of a bottle rim
oh I've spoken of a seashore hum-thum-drum of the waves of a peace anthem

just bottle it please
just bottle it mm-hm-mm

there's a war in america folks
played out on the shore where the lightning smote
from the pores of a stealthoscope
I can see it coming hard

just bottle it, please
just bottle it, please
make bombs not babies oh you moms for peace
can't you see?

so I send a cocktail
mixed message in a bottle
new, clear, but rock stale
demonic 'hind the throttle

what kind of hand grenade did I grow up with?
propless charade, nothing to blow up with?
brackish wash on my sippy-cup lip
yellow squash-artillery corn chip!

gado gado gado gado gado godoh

it's something you eat, it's a plea
adam and eve severed adamantly
where does that leave eve?

oh, in a beach cabin
what a leech of the love for each other we have been
grow old with sea bracken
might as well be beautiful for the implosion

just bottle it, please
just bottle it, please
just bottle it, please
just bottle it, please

just bottle it!
Track Name: so to speak
if I had a seam to sew
I would sow tulips
mary let your garden grow
least you let it slip

I will not eat
I will not partake in your feast
I don't make to eat
if we don't taste at least we speak

if I had a beast to fight
I'd fight tongue and cheek
maybe then I'd sleep at night

oh, can't you see?
it's all 'bout the do-re-mi
oh, can't you tell
them bastards 're going to hell

if I had a song to sing
I'd sing in a hum
merely just an ear blessing
extolling your green thumb

I will not eat
I will not partake in your feast
I don't make to eat
if we don't taste at least we speak
Track Name: who shot the goose down?
constitute a poke where democracy spoke
where a bunch of white folk had some Stuff to attend to
the ruling elite were shuffling their feet
they were writing their sheet that they'd later amend
shrewdly down at the strand
pinpoint in hand
a poisonous dram
unfurled a nation

and I with my wings dirtied and dry
couldn't fly but I sing an anthemic cry
I cry

who birthed us in this state?
and who- who can we thank?
who had us and ran away?
who set the poison that we drank?
who set the poison that we drank?

the frame of a mind
penned down in the pines
and carnally signed
on sheets of white linen
said let freedom ring fingers poisonous drink
I said marry this thing cause you're already sinning

still who-who shot the goose down?
and who put it up there anyway?
who birthed us in this town?
who-who can we blame?
who-who can we blame?
Track Name: got got again
got me the cold
seeping into my bed
got me the coals
I heap on my head

cause I'm freezing
I am seething
got no reason to be here
got no one else not anywhere that I'm seein'

well, got me the dark
ash clouds hanging low
swing like strings in the park
shoot I even got me one of those
oh-shot out from my sweet repose
shoot I even got me one of those

swung 'round the world now there's a sound
got shot when I got unwound
heard that pop-dropped to the ground
rode no stops to lexingtown
molten mound rocks comin' down

got me the stones
with which I build my home
mount hellen heaven blown
minute men seven laid low
but the eight gave a poem
pastor hates that sermon code
masturbates a liberty bone
masticates that leash he froze.

but I'm breathin'
at least I'm breathin'
I have filled my lungs with char
got no one else not where they are
that I'm seein'

got no reason to be here
got no one else not anywhere
that I'm seein'

well, got got again
got caught on something
bramble briar bracken
we're back to where we begin oh
back to where we begin
Track Name: you and the man eating plants
if the plants ate me
with the teeth they have seen
a motley mouth lipped in green
oh the smiles they have gleaned

but how do I come and open your door?
how do I come and say what I'm for?
when I don't want you to fight anymore
and I don't want you to suffer-good lord!
and you already know that I love you both more
I just don't want you walking away poor

so set a table for the leaves I guess
they're babies
they need to digest
insatiable, they suckle the breeze a breast
and I'm torn by their eagerness
and I'm torn by their feast

but how to I come and open your door?
how do I come and suggest what I'm for
when I don't want you to fight anymore
and I don't want you to suffer-good lord!
there's a fuck wielding a double edged sword
and I don't want him eating what is yours
WHAT is yours